Reinvention

Recently I have struggled with knowing who Hope is. Part of this is because I am going through a divorce, which, as many people know is as large of a personal identity transformer as marriage is and was; part of that is because I moved home to my childhood bedroom, and then out in to my own apartment since college; and part of that is because I started a new job with new coworkers and a new working dynamic that I have yet to experience before.

All of these things come with new rules and expectations of myself that are given to me by myself, my family, society, whomever – you name it. All new identifier tags come with a set of behaviors to go along with them.

Naturally, this does not mean that I need to adhere to all of those – but some of them come from a space of caring and goodness, and those are the ones that deserve a second look.

With my divorce I promised myself a couple of things.

  1. I would travel internationally every 3 months.
  2. I would put myself and my self care first, and meet the needs of my girls next, I would not be responsible for the health and wellbeing of another human on a regular, reliable basis.*
  3. I would have a regular schedule of things that make me feel good; that means learning a new skill or two, and staying fit as I define that.

 

The next chapter of this blogs journey is to follow me as I maneuver this new world I have found myself in, and teach you the rules and work arounds as I learn them.

 

Welcome, and enjoy the ride of reinvention.

New Year’s Resolutions: 2017, The Year of Self-Study

I am going to start by saying that I don’t normally make New Year’s resolutions. And yes, I know that this is somewhat of a cliche thing to say, but it’s true. I think the last time I made a New Year’s resolution was in Middle School, when we did so as a part of a class activity. It’s not that I don’t believe in the power that setting goals for oneself holds, but I generally subscribe to the idea that I am able to set these all year round, and that I should.

Unfortunately, living our lives in the “shoulds” just doesn’t make for a productive or happy life; and while I do periodically set these goals for myself year round, it just doesn’t always present itself as pertinent all the time. This year I am making a major shift in how I view my self value, and some steps I have already invested in, but I know that it’s easier to stick to specific, measurable goals than vague ones, especially when someone else is helping hold you accountable. Thanks, Erin.

Bearing that in mind, here are my New Year’s resolutions:

  1. I will land the job.
  2. I will not pin an article without having read it.
  3. I will go running at least twice a week.
  4. I will walk my dogs every day I am in the same home as they are.
  5. I will read a new book that broadens my worldview at least once a month.
  6. I will read a scholarly news article everyday.
  7. I will research, or make a note to do so later, anytime I question my knowledge on a topic.
  8. I will take a new Coursera class every month.
  9. I will say no to things I don’t want to do that won’t contribute to my success.

This year I am being intentional and making decisions knowing that I can only spend my resources once, be that time or money.  That means, instead of binging on worthless TV only because I can’t think of anything else to do, I will be realistic and not say I won’t watch TV, but rather that I will only binge on a little TV and only shows that bring me joy. With my newfound extra time I will play with my dogs, go to the gym, or just sit and read quietly. That’s where you find the time to do the things that bring you joy, by eliminating those that either actively detract, or actively distract and leave you feeling neutral. In that vein I have quit my job and stopped even considering applying to anything that won’t bring me joy.

I have made the choice that I am worthwhile, and I am learning my value. I have plenty to bring to the table in a job, and I am tired of working places where people are just there for a paycheck. I understand the need for money is inevitable but, jeez, guys. I want a career, not just a job, where people are excited about what they’re doing. Everyone has bad days, but if I am around people who generally share my enthusiasm, I’ll be alright. I’ve spent enough time being unhappy and unfulfilled.

2017, you will be good to me, whether you like it or not. I will make this year, my year, because I will make it about bettering myself in order to better my circumstances and the world I surround myself with. So here’s to you, 2017: cheers!

The Fox