Recently I have struggled with knowing who Hope is. Part of this is because I am going through a divorce, which, as many people know is as large of a personal identity transformer as marriage is and was; part of that is because I moved home to my childhood bedroom, and then out in to my own apartment since college; and part of that is because I started a new job with new coworkers and a new working dynamic that I have yet to experience before.
All of these things come with new rules and expectations of myself that are given to me by myself, my family, society, whomever – you name it. All new identifier tags come with a set of behaviors to go along with them.
Naturally, this does not mean that I need to adhere to all of those – but some of them come from a space of caring and goodness, and those are the ones that deserve a second look.
With my divorce I promised myself a couple of things.
- I would travel internationally every 3 months.
- I would put myself and my self care first, and meet the needs of my girls next, I would not be responsible for the health and wellbeing of another human on a regular, reliable basis.*
- I would have a regular schedule of things that make me feel good; that means learning a new skill or two, and staying fit as I define that.
The next chapter of this blogs journey is to follow me as I maneuver this new world I have found myself in, and teach you the rules and work arounds as I learn them.
Welcome, and enjoy the ride of reinvention.
We all have feelings on the topic of New Years Resolutions. Some believe in them wholeheartedly, embracing this fresh start and claiming the new year to be “theirs!” Others believe it’s all a farce – perhaps still waiting for their new “self” from many new years’ past. Some argue that you can have a fresh start anytime.
I get all of these points of view. And so on that note, part of what I’m trying to embrace with 2017 is accepting “conflicting” feelings. Because isn’t that what being human is? Being able to feel many complex emotions about a single issue or matter?
- So, to those of you who say, “You can start fresh ANY day! Why wait for the first of the year?” I say: Good point -I admire your motivation! But how great that this new year represents a push for many people to make changes, right?
- To those who say, “2017 is going to be my year!” I say: I’m here to support and encourage you – it may be hard, but you can do it.
- To those who think, “This never works for me, I’m still waiting for my workout routine from 2003’s resolutions to kick in” I say: well, you know what doesn’t work – time to try something new! Be kind to yourself and keep pushing.
I have been feeling some conflicting feelings for ages. This year I am letting those constant battles die by accepting the contradiction. In that spirit, here are my New Year’s resolutions for 2017!
- Some days I walk out the door like I’m the most beautiful person in the world, and some days I find myself saying things like, “my belly is jiggly today” or “please don’t post that picture of me I look awful”
GOAL: Arm myself with confidence and kindness and be okay with being me. Some days I’ll look and feel great, others I won’t. Every day though, I am the same me with the same love, accomplishments, and skills. I’m making peace with this battle and feeling cool in my own skin no matter what my interpretation of my image may be that day.
- I have promised to myself for ages that I will get into a workout routine. This is the classic New Years Resolution fail. We’ve all experienced the busy January gym and witness this failure trickle down year over year. I beat myself up for this. I go through phases of working out and phases of barely meeting my step goal each day.
GOAL: Seek accountability in those who want me to succeed. Don’t expect it to just happen. Expect to hurt – to collect up my grit to get it done. Expect to fail sometimes, but to keep pushing anyway.
- As a perpetual student I have stacks upon stacks of books and (figurative) articles that I want to read. I want to learn and explore all the resources available to me – plus I want to justify the $7.50 I spend per month on a digital New York Times subscription. Sounds great until the work day ends and I find it much easier to click on the tv and veg out for the rest of the evening.
GOAL: Accept that it is hard to be productive after the work day AND how important it is to keep my curiosity alive and continue learning and pushing myself. Build time into my daytime to read. I will read one full-length article per day and one book per month. Perhaps I’ll start my day with an article and spend 20 minutes mid-day to dig into a book. Care to join the fox and I? We’ll be reading some books simultaneously and discussing here so stay tuned!
At the end of the day remember not only to be kind and good to yourself but kind and good to others. There isn’t one formula that works for anybody – some need new year’s resolutions, some don’t. Let’s encourage and support one another either way.
Let me know what you think of New Year’s Resolutions or what you’re hoping to improve this year!